INSTALLMENT 67
Alicia paces around her apartment, trying to ignore the vibrating of
her cell phone in the other room. Ever since she had her meltdown at
O'leary's the other night, she has done everything she could to isolate
herself from the real world.
Despite her best efforts to resist, she finds herself walking over
to her kitchen counter and looks at her phone. When she sees Gillian's
number on the caller id, she instantly answers it.
"Hello?"
"Alicia! Thank god you answered!" Gillian exclaims.
"Of course, why wouldn't I?" Alicia asks, trying to sound blase.
"Well after what happened at O'leary's, I figured you would be
hiding out from the world." Gillian replies.
Alicia takes a deep breath, trying to remind herself Gillian means
well even with her foot in her mouth.
"Is there something I can do for you?"
"Oh, nothing... I just was calling to see if you were alright or
not. I was so worried about you that I was afraid you were going
to do something drastic and..." Gillian stops herself when she realizes
she's said too much.
Alicia grits her teeth, "Like what? Kill myself?"
"No, of course not... I just was afraid you would leave town in
shame.. or something."
"Gillian, I'm fine... all I want is to be left alone. Before you
say anything further that will cause a repeat of the other night,
I would suggest you hang up right now." Alicia requests, trying to keep
her temper in check.
"Right, I'm so sorry Alicia. I just wanted to call to see if you
were alright, I didn't mean to upset you." Gillian takes a deep breath,
"Please call me when you're feeling better."
"I will, good night."
Alicia disconnects her cell phone, then resumes pacing around her
apartment to clear her head. As she paces, she remembers her collage
of photos in her bedroom closet and makes her way into her bedroom.
Switching on the light in her closet, she looks around for it and
finds it on the top shelf. Looking around, she finds a tiny stool
by her bed and brings it over to the closet. Climbing on top of the
stool, she tries to reach for the collage without any success.
Looking around her closet, she finds a pair of three inch heels
and finds herself slipping into them before climbing back onto the
stool. As she grabs hold of the collage, she finds her balance
faltering and her attempts to not stumble are thwarted by her heels.
Taking a tumble backwards, she tries to grab the sides of the
closet without any success. Within seconds, her whole body falls
to the floor with her head hitting the foot of her bed.
Staring up at the ceiling, Alicia tries to get up, but is in too
much pain to move. As she looks around, she finds her vision fading
and for a brief second, she realizes she's losing consciousness and
chooses not to fight it. Within several seconds, her whole world
goes dark.
__________________________________________
The sounds of 'All I Want For Christmas' greet Alicia as she
comes out of unconsciousness. She opens her eyes and finds her
ceiling is covered with an array of sparking lights of numerous
colors. Before she can determine where the music and the lights
are coming from, she hears someone entering her bedroom.
"There you are sis!" A familiar voice shouts as she is helped
up from the floor. "I was wondering where you wondered off, too!"
Alicia tries to stand on her own, but finds herself unable to
regain full use of her legs. She sits down on her bed and starts
to rub her head with her right hand.
"What are you talking about? Who are you?"
The man starts laughing, "Alicia, you've always been slow on
the uptake.. even since we were kids."
Alicia looks at the man again then shakes her head wildly to
make sure she isn't seeing things.
"Luis.... is that you?" She sees him nodding and starts to
freak out. "It can't be, you're dead! It's impossible... unless...
I'm dead!"
"Dare to dream little sister." Luis retorts, sitting down next
to his sister. "You aren't dead, just taking a little out of
body vacation, if you will."
Alicia studies the man sitting next to her and still can't believe
that this is her straight-laced older brother.
"You can't be my brother... my brother didn't act like some Perez
Hilton wannabe," She pauses for a second, "No offense."
"None taken honey!" Luis remarks, then pauses for a second. "Once
you're dead, you are free of societal rules and regulations. You
didn't know this, but the whole straight-laced thing was just an act...
this is who I truly wanted to be like while amongst the living!"
Alicia starts to get up from her bed, making sure to steady herself
before turning to face her brother. Studying him for a second, she
notices the way he's smiling at her and realizes this man is really
her brother. Fighting to urge to cry, she impulsively falls into his
arms and starts to hug him before she starts to hit him.
"What are you doing?" Luis exclaims, as he attempts to shield himself
from his sister's fists. "Is this the greeting you give to someone you
haven't seen for a long time!"
Alicia backs away from her brother for a second, "Oh, I'm sorry.. what
kind of greeting were you expecting?" He shrugs his shoulders. "Maybe
if you hadn't killed yourself, I might be more prone to have one of those
'Touched By An Angel' type of reactions."
Luis stands up with his arms folded together, shaking his head.
"I knew that would come up."
"Gee... you think." Alicia paces around the room. "So where exactly
is your home right now? Is it upstairs or...." She pauses and points
her finger to the floor.
"Actually.. I'm in limbo right now." Alicia expresses surprise.."No,
it isn't because I killed myself... it's actually because of you."
"Run that by me again?"
"Apparently, my pre-mature departure has caused you to remain in some
kind of limbo." Luis remarks. "Believe me, I was hoping they were wrong,
but they really know their stuff upstairs."
Alicia stands there thinking to herself that she must have taken a
bigger bump to the head then she thought. No way is she staring at her
dead brother blaming her for him being in limbo.
"So you are here to help me get out of 'limbo'?" Alicia puts emphasis
on the word limbo with her fingers.
"Not just to get you out of limbo, but myself as well."
"Interesting.. and if you help me out of 'limbo' then you'll get your
wings, by chance?"
Luis rolls his eyes, "Don't you know Hollywood always takes licenses
with the truth?" He approaches his sister and takes hold of her. "In truth,
any unfinished business will leave a recently departed soul in limbo until
things on earth are resolved."
"And what is unresolved for you here on earth? I can't wait to hear this."
"Your bitter attitude for one.. I must admit it's entertaining to watch
my little sister have a complete meltdown in a public restaurant, but it isn't
helping me.. nor you for that matter."
Alicia tenses up, "I'm doing just fine."
"Sis, I'm dead.. I can see everything from where I'm at.. and you are so
not doing well." He notices her fist starting to clench together. "Before
you lose your temper, hear me out."
"Ok." Alicia grits her teeth again and takes three deep breaths before
she sits back down on her bed.
Luis sighs, "You're very bitter and I know that started long before I
killed myself. Now that I'm not on earth, I know what's been troubling you
all these years. You really need to deal with it because it's now starting
to affect every aspect of your life."
"Go on." Alicia mutters, trying to keep control over her emotions.
"That's just it... your anger has caused you to lose family, friends,
boyfriends, and possibly your career. I stood by as I watched you ignore
your family and friends... even stood by as I saw you mess up a potential
relationship by starting it off as a tool for revenge. However, seeing your
behavior affect your job, a job that you've always wanted, made me realize
I needed to make myself known to you."
"Are you done?" Luis nods. "Since you're dead and have all this wisdom,
perhaps you can tell me how to overcome this bitterness?"
"Well it won't be easy, but you seem unwilling to try."
"No, I'll keep an open mind. Tell me.. do I have to do some good deeds
or something? I know the holiday season is upon us, maybe I can work in a
soup kitchen.. it isn't as if I have a lot going on right now."
Luis shakes his head, "I rest my case." He feels his watch start to
vibrate and he looks down at it. "According to this, my time with you is
coming to an end and that saddens me."
"Cause you'll miss me?"
"That and the fact that I don't think I've gotten through to you." Luis
approaches his sister and gives her a hug. "You have to let go of this
bitterness. The only way I can help you let go is to let you know that is
wasn't your fault."
Alicia breaks out of his embrace, "Of course, it wasn't my fault.. it was
his fault that you killed yourself."
"I'm not talking just about my suicide." Luis sighs and hugs his sister
once more. "However, since you bought it up, I know you blame yourself for my
suicide and you shouldn't. It was neither your fault nor Thomas' fault.. and
you should let go of your hatred for him."
"Now I really know I hit my head harder then I thought." Alicia mutters
out loud.
Luis feels his watch vibrate again and he backs away from his sister.
"Just think about what I said. If not for me, then for your own
salvation."
Before Alicia can respond, her brother starts to fade away.
"Luis, don't leave me again!" Alicia cries as she runs toward her brother
to give him one last embrace.
Before she can give him that final embrace, he fades away completely leaving
her alone. Looking up at the ceiling, she sees the array of Christmas lights
flicker out and the sounds of Christmas music fade away. Holding back her
tears, she lies down on her bed and closes her eyes. After several seconds of
wishing herself to sleep, her wish is granted.
__________________________________________
With her head pounding, Alicia wakes up and stares at the ceiling of her
bedroom. She looks over to the window and finds the sunlight trying to peek
through her beige window blinds. Looking around her room, she remembers
her dream from the night before and leans up out of her bed.
She looks over at her open closet and notices the stool placed right in
front of the door. After a second of thought, she remembers trying to get
her collage from the top shelf with the stool and stumbling off of it. After
looking on the floor, she notices her three inch heel shoes lying in a heap
and remembers hitting her head on the bedpost.
Before she could question how she got from the floor to her bed while
unconscious, she hears a knock at the front door.
Making her way to the door, she remarks to herself how eerie and
real her dream was of her brother. Perhaps the holiday season is making
her miss her brother, she reasons to herself. She decides to wipe thoughts
of her brother out of her mind as she answers the door. Opening her door,
she is greeted by the sight of Wally standing before her.
"Wally, what are you doing here?" Alicia feels her heart racing in
her chest.
"I heard about what happened at O'leary's and I came over to see if you
were alright."
"Yes, I'm fine." Alicia tells herself not to get too excited to see him
at her door. "Thank you for asking, if you don't mind I have some things I
need to do." She starts to shut the door, but he holds his hand out to stop
the door from shutting.
"Don't shut me out." Wally requests. "I have some things to say to you
and if you ever cared for me, you won't turn me away."
Alicia thinks for a second then opens her door to let Wally in.
